Life is tricky. Sometimes it makes you think you have it all under control, then the next minute rocks you in such a way that you feel like the world is out of its place. I have walked this earth for 35 years and yet I have no single clue what i am doing. You would think that by now I should somehow gained a little bit of wisdom from all those rollercoaster of experiences. I have no fucking clue still. Yet i continue coz there’s really not much you can do. Whether you like it or not the morning is gonna start without you. Best be on your way again. Dust off what good or bad transpired yesterday. Live with yourself and the mistakes you made. They say mistakes teach you lessons. Well, what are they? Im not even sure. Universe, you have to be clearer, you know.
Then there’s the complexity of people and the relationships you build with them. What’s the whole point? You’ll end up losing them anyway. All of them. Why waste all our energy on building love, friendship, family…when one day all this would not even be remembered.
I have always been honest with myself. It’s a truth i have learned at a very young age. I dont ever pretend to be happy when im not, not tell myself lies for whatever personal gratification. A difficult childhood taught me to see things the way they are and try to live around it. This self awareness is blessing at the same time a curse. I do also get to read people as easy as i read myself. And because of this i find it difficult to trust when trust is wanting, love when love is wanting, care when it is one way.